Sure, I can enjoy doing nothing, but at some point I have to start doing something. Having pointless stay in the house days makes my nights feel a lot longer than they really are. I feel like my mind is going to implode at the level of frustration I'm experiencing as everyone goes about their own lives like normal and I bum around at home.
The roads are shit and my driving skills? wouldn't even know. cuz i haven't even been behind the wheel. why? because my parents have reclaimed their puppet strings and decided that i'm just not ready. heck, lets dump my car and forget it because waiting to get behind the car would ensure that one day i will be ready..? huh sure.
FINDING A JOB
The usual places one would expect has a constant turnover of employees have at least three copies of my applications, each. So jobless and broke for the holidays is not the kinda swagger i like to roll with. It's quite aggravating. Sure, while everyone is busy they say that I'm the lucky one without the stress of responsibilities and whatnot, well when sleep is all their is to do, it aint that amazin.
bit rocky in the world of vu.
Monday, December 20, 2010
Saturday, December 18, 2010
these four walls.
Minnesota has welcomed me home warmly despite the bone chilling ( although i hear this is quite tame) weather outside. The reactions of everyone who have finally seen me again really warm my heart. Since when has one really seen other's appreciation for their presence? Sad that you really have to be gone for a while to really get it, but since i've got it, watch me bask in the glory of my return.
To be honest, being back is a bit strange. Minnesota is certainly not in the state that I had left it and neither am I. I'm not going to glide back into the little life I had prior to leaving, so how do we modify everything to finally fit? WHO KNOWS. My parents' tight grasp on my shackles is not sitting well with me, especially since I've been without for so long. the fun can't be over just because I'm back home, the definition of my life wasn't those last three months, the 'living' i did certainly doesn't end past Australia's borders.
Other than that, I LOVE BEING BACK. My friends and family really do need me and I'm readily eager to help in any way possible. The loving company I've always loved and found comfort in is back in my life, it's quite refreshing to snuggle back up to what i've adored and consider safe. The catching up we've been doing these last few days reminds me of the void I'd felt in my low times in Sydney.
I can't help but feel as if the last few months are just a figment of my imagination. The sights, sounds, emotions, and thoiughts of Australia can only be visualized in my head and expressed through my words. All i want to do is to take my loves and run them through the course of my experience. that's the kinda sharing that's necessary to fully understand all this.
I'm here back in my room, laptop as my cuddle buddy once again, yet I'm restless. These four walls of comfort aren't going to cut it, a lot of my days were wasted in here, wallowing at what I wasn't satisfied with and burying myself into the world wide web. My room will be a place of refuge. Not the setting of my life.
changed? you could say that.
ready for it? lol for a change, as a matter of fact, I am.
To be honest, being back is a bit strange. Minnesota is certainly not in the state that I had left it and neither am I. I'm not going to glide back into the little life I had prior to leaving, so how do we modify everything to finally fit? WHO KNOWS. My parents' tight grasp on my shackles is not sitting well with me, especially since I've been without for so long. the fun can't be over just because I'm back home, the definition of my life wasn't those last three months, the 'living' i did certainly doesn't end past Australia's borders.
Other than that, I LOVE BEING BACK. My friends and family really do need me and I'm readily eager to help in any way possible. The loving company I've always loved and found comfort in is back in my life, it's quite refreshing to snuggle back up to what i've adored and consider safe. The catching up we've been doing these last few days reminds me of the void I'd felt in my low times in Sydney.
I can't help but feel as if the last few months are just a figment of my imagination. The sights, sounds, emotions, and thoiughts of Australia can only be visualized in my head and expressed through my words. All i want to do is to take my loves and run them through the course of my experience. that's the kinda sharing that's necessary to fully understand all this.
I'm here back in my room, laptop as my cuddle buddy once again, yet I'm restless. These four walls of comfort aren't going to cut it, a lot of my days were wasted in here, wallowing at what I wasn't satisfied with and burying myself into the world wide web. My room will be a place of refuge. Not the setting of my life.
changed? you could say that.
ready for it? lol for a change, as a matter of fact, I am.
Thursday, December 16, 2010
homeward bound
I haven't updated in about two weeks, in which i'd gone on two more trips and futher explored Sydney. I'll update afterwards once i can upload the pictures.
I'm currently on my flight to the twin cities and with whatever battery life I have left, I'll jot down my final thoughts.
I haven't been doing much outloud reflection because I honestly hadn't been in the greatest of spirits post capa program. Australia simply wasn't the same without the people it all began with. Despite that, my last two weeks of exploration were quite successful. I was able to eat at my favorite places one last time, shop til I dropped-a few hundred bucks- on randoms that are to be christmas gifts for my loves, and simply take in all my favorite sights one more time.
I've changed quite a bit from the ann that originally bawled her eyes out at the brighten beach novotel the first day. I feel like that little naive ann, the one who'd never been away from mama, was still curled up in that hotel room when I saw it from above. I don't feel like I relate to her anymore, which was the precisely the point of why I needed this.
One really important thing I've learned was that location has little meaning. Sure, Sydney is a place I relate my great experiences too, but leaving doesn't make a difference. They'll still be there, what really matters is the people I meet. I honestly stopped missing America, I didn't care Australia had enough to offer that America was just the place where I lived, got my distinctive accent, but there was no sentimental meaning attached to it anymore. It's the people. I'm going home to my family and friends. That's what I want to go back to, because honestly, I love the sights, but if I don't get to see my Aussie loves again, I wouldn't care to turn around.
my thoughts are clogged up in a tangle and I can't seem to spew out any thoughts, quite rare I must say, but its alright, I'll check back in once i'm all settled back HOME.
I'm currently on my flight to the twin cities and with whatever battery life I have left, I'll jot down my final thoughts.
I haven't been doing much outloud reflection because I honestly hadn't been in the greatest of spirits post capa program. Australia simply wasn't the same without the people it all began with. Despite that, my last two weeks of exploration were quite successful. I was able to eat at my favorite places one last time, shop til I dropped-a few hundred bucks- on randoms that are to be christmas gifts for my loves, and simply take in all my favorite sights one more time.
I've changed quite a bit from the ann that originally bawled her eyes out at the brighten beach novotel the first day. I feel like that little naive ann, the one who'd never been away from mama, was still curled up in that hotel room when I saw it from above. I don't feel like I relate to her anymore, which was the precisely the point of why I needed this.
One really important thing I've learned was that location has little meaning. Sure, Sydney is a place I relate my great experiences too, but leaving doesn't make a difference. They'll still be there, what really matters is the people I meet. I honestly stopped missing America, I didn't care Australia had enough to offer that America was just the place where I lived, got my distinctive accent, but there was no sentimental meaning attached to it anymore. It's the people. I'm going home to my family and friends. That's what I want to go back to, because honestly, I love the sights, but if I don't get to see my Aussie loves again, I wouldn't care to turn around.
my thoughts are clogged up in a tangle and I can't seem to spew out any thoughts, quite rare I must say, but its alright, I'll check back in once i'm all settled back HOME.
Tuesday, November 30, 2010
loving it
 |
| Lily Sweeny cried her eyes out when I left my last day of work. I won't make much money but I'm loved a shit ton more than anyone working in some cubicle. Parting with my babies was just as difficult as I anticipated. With my tendency to getting attached to people, it's only obbvious that I'd be in tears walking away from my internships gates. Well it's going to hurt when you got your heart on your sleeve. I'm only asking for it. I've learned so much during my time here in Australia, but it's difficult to paint it all out in text. My mind doesn't work that way. Oh well, it'll show up for sure in conversation. I find it mroe and more difficult to write out everything in my head. In this phase of indecisiveness when it comes to career paths. It comforts me to know that so long as I'm in the company of children, I'm doing SOMETHING RIGHT. |
Saturday, November 27, 2010
to the ends of the earth
Being a very safe player in the game of life, constantly trapped in the cookie cutter world of ann vu's, I'd been very naive about the world. I'd always figured that if I just go through the regular milestones of life that I'll just grow and that's it. My experience over here has made me realize that I have a responsibility to reach for opportunities, explore and quit lying around waiting for life to happen to me. If I hadn't chosen to hop on a plane and see this part of the world, I would have missed out on so much.
Monday, November 1, 2010
on a lighter note...
I'm going to dump everything I have into this blog with promises that it will end nicely. I have this notorious habit of harboring all my feelings ( mostly the negative ones) in my head until I can't take it anymore and cry rivers into my pillow. Well two months of whatever and how little of an irritation I experienced was enough. The urge to cry is similar to hunger, can't suppress it and the more you do the more you tend to binge later. I had a few episodes of self pitying tears throughout the three days of my weekend ( so glad it's conveniently over the days I'm not working or in class) and I feel sooo much better.
I'm still not sure what would be better. Addressing and confronting everyone about my minor peeves or saving it up for a sudden firework show in my head. I've always been the one to gather it all up and dump it when necessary. I don't like causing problems, and I hate being that person who openly has problems with everything ( I much rather hide it, but for my sake? or for others? not quite sure yet)
Another reason why this little phase didn't surprise me was because it's always bothered me ( with everyone) This is when I realize ( well I've always known) but this is when I'm flat out shown that I'm totally the source of the problem. which sucks cuz then it'll be an issue wherever i go. My passiveness or i dont know what other term to use but it's my tendency to be too easy going. It never bothers me until i come to the realization that I haven't been doing anything on my own agenda and have become just a shadow companion for someone else. it's a little thing, till you find that there's only 6 measly weeks left of the trip, three of which will not be spent in Sydney. Not only that but I was also coming down with a cold which wouldn't phase me the slightest if I hadn't already dispensed all the medicine my mama so thoughtfully packed for me. Sigh negatives always come in sequences don't they.
Well the good news is, what comes down will always come back up. I'd decided that Halloween was not going to be celebrated this year ( like a real Australian) and rebuild my spirit up from what was left of it. I started my sunday morning with starbucks ( little home comforts like these are taken only under extreme measures, i'm here to experience NEW things) for the sake of my condition starbucks is a must. I've been reading Eat, Pray, Love and for a girl who likes to go out and eat like I do, the time she spent in Italy ( the EAT portion of the book) was of the least interest. It wasn't until she started really praying that I couldn't put it down.
ahh theres never enough time to finish and i apologize to those who actually read this...everything seems to be all over the place.
well rightfully so, its a window into my mess of a mind and tangle of thoughts. I'll finish...eventually. promise.
okay...sigh I hate having to stop in the middle, this is my third long intermission.
Okay, so reading..yes I read before church, and during church uhmm same old except the homily's don't speak to me. It's like the teacher in Charlie Brown wah wah wah. I was so used to great homily's done back every sunday at home and this just doesn't seem to cut it. Think, it's hard to be more personable when you've got a cathedral of regulars and tourists. So, nope didn't speak to me, but that's alright I had more to say this time anyhow. Ahhh i feel like this is really important although I no longer have the urge to blog it.
Here it all goes fast forwarded...
I went to David Jones which is pretty much Bloomingdales of Australia but more expensive cuz they have to import anything American inspired. I walk in on a mission for a lipstick shade ( can't hurt to switch off a new color and my regular pink pink) but I was distracted by a pianist playing with his eyes shut on a baby grand piano. Just as I was asking for one to play with, God has me watch someone else play...lol mysterious ways he works. But the man noticed that I was no longer shopping and there just to listen to him play and asked if I had any requests...DO I EVER? lol Only three requests and anyone who really knows me could guess at least 2/3rds of what I asked for. I felt that right there I was being kind of restored to my own cheery self. It was like a blanket of calmness back in and I didn't feel like everything was wrong anymore. I honestly didn't give a damn. This would have been a lot better if I had access whenever I felt the urge to write. Oh well. Can't win them all. It's a preventative measure that ensures that I don't spend my entire trip scoping the internet lol.
I'm still not sure what would be better. Addressing and confronting everyone about my minor peeves or saving it up for a sudden firework show in my head. I've always been the one to gather it all up and dump it when necessary. I don't like causing problems, and I hate being that person who openly has problems with everything ( I much rather hide it, but for my sake? or for others? not quite sure yet)
Another reason why this little phase didn't surprise me was because it's always bothered me ( with everyone) This is when I realize ( well I've always known) but this is when I'm flat out shown that I'm totally the source of the problem. which sucks cuz then it'll be an issue wherever i go. My passiveness or i dont know what other term to use but it's my tendency to be too easy going. It never bothers me until i come to the realization that I haven't been doing anything on my own agenda and have become just a shadow companion for someone else. it's a little thing, till you find that there's only 6 measly weeks left of the trip, three of which will not be spent in Sydney. Not only that but I was also coming down with a cold which wouldn't phase me the slightest if I hadn't already dispensed all the medicine my mama so thoughtfully packed for me. Sigh negatives always come in sequences don't they.
Well the good news is, what comes down will always come back up. I'd decided that Halloween was not going to be celebrated this year ( like a real Australian) and rebuild my spirit up from what was left of it. I started my sunday morning with starbucks ( little home comforts like these are taken only under extreme measures, i'm here to experience NEW things) for the sake of my condition starbucks is a must. I've been reading Eat, Pray, Love and for a girl who likes to go out and eat like I do, the time she spent in Italy ( the EAT portion of the book) was of the least interest. It wasn't until she started really praying that I couldn't put it down.
ahh theres never enough time to finish and i apologize to those who actually read this...everything seems to be all over the place.
well rightfully so, its a window into my mess of a mind and tangle of thoughts. I'll finish...eventually. promise.
okay...sigh I hate having to stop in the middle, this is my third long intermission.
Okay, so reading..yes I read before church, and during church uhmm same old except the homily's don't speak to me. It's like the teacher in Charlie Brown wah wah wah. I was so used to great homily's done back every sunday at home and this just doesn't seem to cut it. Think, it's hard to be more personable when you've got a cathedral of regulars and tourists. So, nope didn't speak to me, but that's alright I had more to say this time anyhow. Ahhh i feel like this is really important although I no longer have the urge to blog it.
Here it all goes fast forwarded...
I went to David Jones which is pretty much Bloomingdales of Australia but more expensive cuz they have to import anything American inspired. I walk in on a mission for a lipstick shade ( can't hurt to switch off a new color and my regular pink pink) but I was distracted by a pianist playing with his eyes shut on a baby grand piano. Just as I was asking for one to play with, God has me watch someone else play...lol mysterious ways he works. But the man noticed that I was no longer shopping and there just to listen to him play and asked if I had any requests...DO I EVER? lol Only three requests and anyone who really knows me could guess at least 2/3rds of what I asked for. I felt that right there I was being kind of restored to my own cheery self. It was like a blanket of calmness back in and I didn't feel like everything was wrong anymore. I honestly didn't give a damn. This would have been a lot better if I had access whenever I felt the urge to write. Oh well. Can't win them all. It's a preventative measure that ensures that I don't spend my entire trip scoping the internet lol.
Friday, October 29, 2010
PERTH
While my peers all headed to beaches in Fiji or the Gold Coast for spring break, I headed to Perth : the quaint supposedly boring city located on the opposite coast of Sydney. I'm surprised how much of a trooper I am about flying after sitting 20 hrs just to get here, 5 hours was weaksauce this time around.
What amazes me the most about this time in Australia is that I'm still blessed with so much. I'm sure everyone had a good time, but I'm positive that no one had a time like I did. Everything is still catered to me, even if my parents aren't the ones to hand it on a silver platter. I'm always thankful and a little confused as to how I could be so lucky, not complaining..but still..how..why???
Perth is beautiful and I have to admit, I like it a lot more than I like Sydney. It's so much more comfortable to me because it's more Minneapolis than Sydney is. I was closer to home there than anywhere else I've travelled to. The people I met a long the way, I'll never forget. As I boarding the plane, teary eyed and aching I couldn't help but wonder if I preferred not meeting everyone. It would have been so much easier, and I wouldn't experience such a void. But along with everything else, these people were brought into my life for a reason. It shows how easy it is for me to really care about people, and difficult it is to leave when you're unsure when you'll meet again.
North of Perth : Pinnacle
Two hours north of Sydney is this desert looking place, by the ocean. It was beautiful, and a great day to go, it wasn't too hot, just crisp and windy. It was very cool to see all the different shaped stones protruding from the sand as if they grew right out of the ground. I think it was believed that these were originally tree trunks gradually concreted with sand over thousands of years...who knows? Very cool place, I loved seeing them in person.
South of Perth: Margaret River
About two hours south is Margaret River. An area sprinkled with vineyards and chocolate factories, caves and beautiful forests, it was another tourist 'must-see'. Despite my vow never to go wine tasting, I didn't feel like I had a choice but to sip a few glasses while I was there. I don't have a taste for alcohol, although I doubt many people drink it for taste so much as the effects. Either way I'm not interested. It was fun nonetheless, these little road trips allow me to see as much of Perth as I can in the short time span I do have.
The Kari Forest was my favorite. I'm no artist but I want to draw this when I get back. The mystical stillness, the way the light glittered the trees and the seemingly endlessness of the forest was beautiful. It reminds me a lot of avatar minus the glow in the dark features of course. This was THE highlight of all the road trips, I'd never seen anything like it and I doubt I ever will.
Strawberry Field
It's the little things that really stand out to me. For a strawberry lover such as myself, this was utopia! I loved picking my own strawberries, all ripe and sweet just the way I like them. It was a beautiful day as usual, Perth's weather is perfect! Strawberries are picked and packaged by hand, made to order. Everything is fresh and business was BUSY. The field looked endless with tiny red specs scattered in the leaves. This was my FAVORITE.
What sold the entire experience for me was my new little friend Mary. I have a hard time with people my age but I'll meet a child and come out a friend. Interesting how real children are. I can't ever say that about a peer. She taught me how to pick strawberries ( there is a specific technique to it btw) and from there we became the best of friends lol. Very cute this little one, nothing like an Aussie accent on a little asian girl. Mine is in the works but it's a sorry excuse for a cool accent I'll tellya that.
So many more things to document, but I feel like this entry is more photos and captions than anything else. It would have been a lot more interesting if I'd done it right away. I've neared almost two weeks after and the zest for the trip is a bit lost and my recollections aren't as accurate.
Today is my time out day for I'm feeling every overwhelmed with unfavorable emotions which facilitate the homesickness I hadn't experienced for weeks. I'm sitting out of the halloween festivities and decided that I will regain my sanity this weekend.
What amazes me the most about this time in Australia is that I'm still blessed with so much. I'm sure everyone had a good time, but I'm positive that no one had a time like I did. Everything is still catered to me, even if my parents aren't the ones to hand it on a silver platter. I'm always thankful and a little confused as to how I could be so lucky, not complaining..but still..how..why???
Perth is beautiful and I have to admit, I like it a lot more than I like Sydney. It's so much more comfortable to me because it's more Minneapolis than Sydney is. I was closer to home there than anywhere else I've travelled to. The people I met a long the way, I'll never forget. As I boarding the plane, teary eyed and aching I couldn't help but wonder if I preferred not meeting everyone. It would have been so much easier, and I wouldn't experience such a void. But along with everything else, these people were brought into my life for a reason. It shows how easy it is for me to really care about people, and difficult it is to leave when you're unsure when you'll meet again.
North of Perth : Pinnacle
South of Perth: Margaret River
About two hours south is Margaret River. An area sprinkled with vineyards and chocolate factories, caves and beautiful forests, it was another tourist 'must-see'. Despite my vow never to go wine tasting, I didn't feel like I had a choice but to sip a few glasses while I was there. I don't have a taste for alcohol, although I doubt many people drink it for taste so much as the effects. Either way I'm not interested. It was fun nonetheless, these little road trips allow me to see as much of Perth as I can in the short time span I do have.
It's the little things that really stand out to me. For a strawberry lover such as myself, this was utopia! I loved picking my own strawberries, all ripe and sweet just the way I like them. It was a beautiful day as usual, Perth's weather is perfect! Strawberries are picked and packaged by hand, made to order. Everything is fresh and business was BUSY. The field looked endless with tiny red specs scattered in the leaves. This was my FAVORITE.
What sold the entire experience for me was my new little friend Mary. I have a hard time with people my age but I'll meet a child and come out a friend. Interesting how real children are. I can't ever say that about a peer. She taught me how to pick strawberries ( there is a specific technique to it btw) and from there we became the best of friends lol. Very cute this little one, nothing like an Aussie accent on a little asian girl. Mine is in the works but it's a sorry excuse for a cool accent I'll tellya that.
So many more things to document, but I feel like this entry is more photos and captions than anything else. It would have been a lot more interesting if I'd done it right away. I've neared almost two weeks after and the zest for the trip is a bit lost and my recollections aren't as accurate.
Today is my time out day for I'm feeling every overwhelmed with unfavorable emotions which facilitate the homesickness I hadn't experienced for weeks. I'm sitting out of the halloween festivities and decided that I will regain my sanity this weekend.
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